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How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Posted on:July 26, 2021

Heading image with book

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

The book notes for “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a little different than for most books. The book was split up into short 3-4 pages of Principles and those pages gave some short examples of those principles. Here is a list of all the principles:


Section 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Principle 1: Don’t criticize condemn or complain.

Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation

Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want

Section 2: Six Ways to Make People Like You

Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people

Principle 2: Smile

Principle 3: Remembering that a persons name is to the person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves

Principle 5: Talk in terms of other person’s interests

Principle 6: Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely

Section 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Principle 2: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “you’re wrong”

Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way

Principle 5: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately

Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking

Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other persons point of view

Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other persons ideas and desires

Principle 10: Appeal to nobler motives

Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas

Principle 12: Throw down a challenge

Section 4: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation

Principle 2: Call attention to peoples mistakes indirectly

Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

Principle 5: Let the other person save face

Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”

Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

Principle 9: Always make the other person happy about doing things you suggest

My Thoughts

The title of this book seems to be very controlling, but the points covered are mostly points about just being a good person and a good friend, colleague, boss, etc. Although this book had a lot of great points, it never really went much deeper than just giving some examples from other people experience.

In my opinion, just reading the titles, and really thinking about the meaning and implications of what the title is saying is enough to get the most out of this book.

Overall the points are really great points. But the overarching idea was that this isn’t something you should use to manipulate and make people do these things. The goal is to change your approach and see things from a different stand point, so that you can be more genuine and sincere whenever you are implementing one of these principles.

Key Take Away

Lot’s of value, but not really a fun read.

Rating: ★★★☆☆